An adventure with Catalina....in crocs :)

So I know I haven't blogged in a few days, but that's because nothing dramatic has happened in my life since then. Nothing has been worth reading, it's just been the boring everyday stuff. That all changed tonight when I hung out with Cat. I love that girl, to the MAX. She makes me laugh like every freakin second that I'm with her. In fact so many crazy, random, and fun things happened tonight that we started a list, so we would not forget any of them :)

The list goes as follows:

-the almost accident

-weave

-geese, part 1(that's right, there's more)

-the hand

-down syndrome

-lady at chipotle

-lady gaga joke

-geese, part 2

-the electronic cigarette

-the puddle

-Sadie's creeper

-Clay Aiken rant

-the stoplight

-black snowman

-in the ginger bin

.....all while I was wearing lime green crocs :D

Yeah, i know you're hooked. This is going to be a long blog. Long, but quite enjoyable.

So after I picked up Cat, I had to make a u-turn to get to the mall. So my light was green, and as I was turning around, someone was making a right hand turn onto the same road I was u-turning on. And his light was red. He didn't even stop. And then he looked at me like what the hell is my problem. Umm, false. Northern Virginia drivers make me crazy, because 95% of them don't know how to drive. Then, we were sitting a few lights down and there was this black dog ear sticking up over the top of the open window in the car next to us, and Cat goes "Oh that's a dog! I thought that was someone's weave! I was about to be like man they sure did fuck up her head". I'm not even sure i can describe just how hard that made me laugh. I guess if there had been drinks involved it would've rocketed itself via nostrils.

So then, we were turning from the parkway to the road to get to Chipotle and BAM! there were 5 geese, in a single file line, just standing off in the right lane. They were pretty much screaming "killll meeeeeee!" and it was just so random that it was hilarious. So once at Chipotle, of course, the line was super duper long, but it was chill. We weren't in a hurry. So I'm standing with my back towards the people facing the windows and all of the sudden Cat is like-Jen. hand. omg look at it. And there was this really icky guy putting his arm around(his wife or gf, idk which)and I'm not sure if he was like reaching around to like grab the far side of her boob or what, but he got nothing but rolls. This lady had rolls on her rolls, and he was fondling them. My gag reflex actually kicked in. It was a memory that will unfortunately be burned into my brain forever, taking up space that could be used for something knowledgable.

For the duration of our line standing at this said place Chipotle, I can't remember what I asked, but I asked Cat if she wanted to do something and she replied-"yeah I'm down, like the syndrome!" And I know you really should not laugh at something like that, but seriously--were you expecting that response? Alright then. :] Then, the lady behind us was one of those rude customers that orders like 'give me this, give me that, i need this' instead of politely asking. Maybe working in retail for 2 years has done this to me, but I mean seriously--how hard is it to be polite? It's a big pet peeve when people do that, and i was telling all of this to Cat. Apparently I was louder than I meant to be and she looked behind me and was like dude shut up, just shut up right now. I guess the lady heard me and looked like she was going to jump us. Needless to say we got the food to go.

Possibly one of the lamest and funniest corny puns of all time. How do you make Lady Gaga cry? you pokerface! Lmao, get it? Like pokerface, but you poke her face? Oh...*snorts*

So anyway, lol, on the way out the geese were on the other side of the road(the side we were on)and literally were just chillin in the middle of the road, not moving. They were geese on a suicide mission! So we went to the mall to pay Ashley a visit and on the way on at one of those little booths there was an ad for an electronic cigarette. That's right, an ELECTRONIC cigarette. So we were like wtf? and were looking at the ad...

"looks like a cigarette!

acts like a cigarette!

tastes like a cigarette!...

BUT IT'S NOT A CIGARETTE!!!!!"

That was the ad playing on the tv. Some of the worst advertising I've ever seen. Then Cat was like why the fuck would anyone buy this? and I was like well duh! because it's the cooler way to die! and then she said something obscene about it that I shall edit, with the entrapenuer standing RIGHT there, glaring at us as we walked away laughing. One day Catalina and I are going to get beat up by random people for just being us. One day.

So then walking up to Shopper's(it was raining)I crossed through this puddle. It didn't look very deep, and it wasn't very wide. The phrase 'don't judge a book by it's cover' totally applies here. When i walked through it, it went UP PAST MY ANKLES! It was like I had stepped in a tide pool on the beach, not a puddle in the street. Good thing I was wearing crocs and had an instant draining system, otherwise the floor in the store would have been very wet.

Long story short, my friend Sadie has a creeper that was her waiter at Outback over a year ago, got her number, texted her about how he wanted to make out with her, waited on her tonight at Outback, and apparently lives 4 houses down from her, and reminded her of that tonight. *does awkward turtle*

Cat and I were talking about music and about how we were into the hardcore death metal music and then I was like yeah, but I mean I also listen to like...Clay Aiken too. She then proceeded to go into a rant. I was like dude don't hate on Clay Aiken! and she goes "No! I'm not hating on Clay Aiken! The ones who I hate are those dumbass girls who were surprised when he told everyone that he was gay! 'Hey I'm Clay Aiken and I'm gay' 'Really?' If that thought crossed your mind because you associate Clay Aiken with being straight, then those are the people that really deserve to get hit by a bus!" It just went on and on...it was so beautiful

Then a red light didn't look red, but like the color of when you mix mustard and ketchup together.

Cat-"dude it's like fusia! look at it!" *stares* "wait maybe that isn't such a good idea"

Tonight was just one of those 'you had to be there' nights.

And apprently my friend Dominique puts up a black snowman in his yard at Christmas time for decoratrion. We switched from a cd to the radio and the first thing we hear is "in the ginger bin!"

Random. Ok I'm done now :)

Ohh! The guy that I packed for today looked exactly like a Russian bad guy from season 5 of 24, the one that kills Lyn McGills sister and her boyfriend, and then steals Lyn's CTU keycard and breaks into CTU with it to release syntox nerve gas into the ventilation system, but is killed by Jack because he's an effing badass. Yeah, that guy :]

"everyone's sleeping all through the house, you wish you could dream but forgot to somehow. sing this lullaby to yourself"

"People are obsessed with FarmVille beacuse they have the IQ of dairy cows! :)" - unlisted source